Day 22: Stop Being a Weight-Loss Martyr | 30-Day Weight Loss-athon

Here we are at Day 22 of the 30-Day Weight Loss-athon. Wow – time is flying!

All tasks in the 30-Day Weight Loss-athon are adapted from my 52 Weight Loss Missions program.

Read the steps first, then take 10 minutes to think about and complete them. Ready?

What You Need:

  • A willingness to look at yourself and your beliefs
  • Pen
  • Post-its.

Step 1

The first step today is to realize that saying yes to your weight loss means saying no to other things and to other people’s priorities, at least some of the time.

And if the people in your life are especially demanding, then it may mean saying no rather a lot of the time.

Sometimes you’ll help out, of course. But if you come last on your priority list much of the time, then you need to realize the effect this may be having on your weight-loss success.

Before long, you forget what your priorities even are. They get lost in the maelstrom of everyone else’s needs.

If losing weight is a priority for you – and we discovered on Day 1 that it is – then it may be time to start saying no.

But before you can do that, you may need to change the way you look at things.

Step 2

For most people, saying no is difficult. We see it as selfish. We’re uncomfortable putting our own priorities ahead of other people’s needs. So when our priorities get challenged, we give in.

So now we need to remind ourselves that in fact, sticking to your weight-loss guns is not selfish – it has all kinds of benefits that are surprisingly good for everyone:

  • As you lose weight you’ll gain energy so you’ll have more to give others
  • If you have kids, they’ll benefit from an excellent role model for persistence, goal setting, health and wellbeing – not to mention assertiveness!
  • By standing up for yourself, you’ll gain the respect of colleagues, friends and family members
  • When the people around you have to make other arrangements, it can help them develop their own independence and stand on their own two feet
  • You’ll stop feeling resentful that your priorities are neglected, and this helps you to have better relationships
  • You’ll be more fun to be around
  • You’ll be happier, which boosts productivity at work and home
  • You’ll like yourself more as you build up your assertiveness muscles
  • If you’re using the needs of others as an excuse for not living your own life, then you’ll start living your own life more – and let them off the hook.

That’s a lot of great stuff for you and for the people around you!

Step 3

So now, choose the benefit or benefits that most speak to you and – you guessed it! – write it/them on a post-it note and put it somewhere you’ll see it every day.

Once you accept that it’s okay to protect your priorities and say no to certain demands, how do you do it – with grace? That’s what we’ll take action on tomorrow.

So… which benefit does it for you?

Check in!

And you’re done!

Be sure to leave your comment below to check in and stay accountable. If you’re reading this by email or in a reader then please click here to leave your comment.

See you tomorrow!

Michele Connolly

Michele Connolly helps people move from procrastination to action. She believes that taking action on your priorities makes you a happier person. Michele is the founder of Get Organized Wizard and creator of tools for business, home, and personal organization. Her programs are used by tens of thousands of people worldwide.

  • Exercising and eating healthy is giving me more energy and a more positive outlook. I’m in for the long haul!

  • I think this is my favorite! It is not being selfish to say no to others when you need time to take care of yourself! Thanks

  • I have to start telling myself no….no to staying on the computer at night. No to the emotional eating (happy or not so much). No to the pity parties when my clothes don’t fit due to my choices. I also need to say no to a couple of people that don’t realize they are taking my “me” time.

  • that was an interesting read. I don’t have to say no to others so much as myself. I tend to over commit myself when I really need more time to focus on me. I have decided to give up one part time job which is more of a bobbie than a money maker so I will have more time for what is more important to me. the de cluttering and cleaning up has me more motivated and moving more so I am on the right track.

  • I would love to just have more energy to do all the things that I want to do. Also just the piece of mind that I am looking after my health in relation to heart disease and diabetes. I already have the support of my husband and daughter who will eat whatever I am eating and encourage me whenever they can. When I do make those choices at work where I wont eat cake offered etc I do get the respect from my work colleagues who congratulate me for being so strong and they do comment how good I look with the weight I have lost so that is always encouraging to make you keep going.

  • I understand my weight loss crusade is not a priority to all, I do ask that they respect my choices thought. In the end, it comes down to me, if everyone here eats pizza, their choice, I make chicken and veggies, my choice. My health and weight loss are my responsibility and ‘no thanks’ seems to be my favorite word lately. Thanks!

  • More energy would be nice to get myself motivated to do all that I have to do which in the end promotes productivity at home. I already say no to certain things since I am the one cooking most of the time anyway. I’m supported in my decision to lose weight so it’s just getting into the habit of changing the priorities into healthier choices that we both like.

  • Had not thought of myself as a martyr in this way before, but know I need to change my thinking (and my actions – healthier eating and better use of time, etc.) in many ways. That might even mean – gasp! – less time on Facebook!

  • I like being a good model to my children–especially to my girls. The confidence I am gaining by making good choices for my body is something I want for them.

  • I guess more energy and concentration is my call.. when I over eat, even healthy food, it affects my concentration and ability to read and work.. I will dwell on this thought with myself more today.. Thanks for the tip.

  • I have to realize that I have to put time aside for ME and include exercising in my day so that, that will build up my self confidence in myself.

  • checking in………………need to learn to say NO!

  • This is so me. you have hit the nail on the head. love it

  • I have to say no to work.. very demanding job and I do alot of extra hours for free that I could spend on myself.

  • The effect that my efforts will have on my child is a giant motivator for me.

  • I have made a commitment that my health is more important and since I have finally turned a good corner and feel wonderful, I will continue with the journey I am on:) My kids will thank me one day for having been there longer with them to do things and eventually to be in shape to take care of their children. I am turning 50 this summer and praying that I will be a Grand-maman ( grandmother called in french) within the next 7-8 years:)

  • I really feel as though this is not a big problem for me. All my excuses revolved around my inability to comit which I have now gotten past. My family and friends are very supportive and really pretty low maintenance. I do remember a time where my little kids created an excuse for me to lean on but now they are older and that excuse is voided. I feel like I will be able to keep this all in mind for the future but right now I think I’m good.

  • NO! NO! NO! Sounds good to me! because most of the time, I feel like I am being pulled in a million different directions…I am always going and doing something, yet I never seem to get anything done! UGH! Maybe, NO is the answer! I need a list of what is important and work to get-R-done! Work to Clear up some of my time, Clear up the clutter in my life, and in the process… Clear my mind! Sounds like the plan for me! <3 : ).

  • I need to be more assertive about my own health and happiness. I have been encouraging my daughter to take care of herself so that she can take care of her family. I guess she learned the martyr attitude from me and I need to work on my own shortcomings.

  • YES to more energy and liking the woman who stands up in front of people to teach or lead or whatever…me!

  • Eating breakfast, exercising, making better eating choices, better nights sleep, and feeling great! Saying “no” will just add to my feeling good about me.

  • this will definitely be challenging for me; however, this is something that I have come to realize is an issue I have with myself. this will be good for me 🙂

  • While I have not been checking in on a regular basis, I have been reading the posts daily and making changes slowly. Thanks for the encouragement!

  • Six years ago I learned that it is ok to say no to others. Now I just have to say not to the snacks and sweets that I love so much.

  • I have to start living my own life and not using my kids (teens who could fend for themselves if they don’t like a meal I fix) or my husband as an excuse for not making healthy choices.

  • Exercising and eating right definitely make me more healthy and productive! It is important to make them a priority in my life.

  • More energy will make me more fun and happier! (Would this be considered multi-tasking?)

  • Mine is that I will be more fun to be around. I become more active with my kids as I get healthier.

  • I really want to lose weight to gain energy and have more to give to myself and others 🙂

  • I want to have more energy and be happier! I am posting my notes by dorrs so I see them before I leave a room.

  • Looking forward to having more energy.

  • More energy….more fun….for my well being!

  • I’m blessed. My family and friends are very supportive.

  • I fully embrace this no guilt.

  • NO! Lol, not easy to do even jokingly. But, it is necessary.

  • To have more energy to be able to do more!

  • Slow and steady wins the race! 🙂

  • I will be ‘funner’ to be around!

  • I need time for me.

  • So this weekend, I’m at a party discussing weight loss and when I leave the room one of my close friends comments to my teenage daughter that I’m able to lose o quickly because when I’m not dieting, I eat such junk and she has such a hard time losing weight because she always eats healthy so dieting isn’t enough of a change for her. When I hear this, I think Babe you did NOT put on 25lbs in the last year by ALWAYS eating healthy but I said NO to any retorts or arguments and invited her with me the next day for my daily walk…needless to say I had to slow my usual pace…yeah THAT’s satisfaction! This mission…I’ve already got covered and I’ve been bringing salads wherever I go…just in case there aren’t choices, it’s not rude – > it’s being prepared and people understand.

  • Hello to everyone: Remain positive! You can lose weight! Some people take it off right away and others have to work at it. Quit saying “I don’t have the willpower to do this!” “It’s coming off too slow – I can’t handle this.” “I think I’ll give up and try another time [which probably won’t come].” Positive at all times, “Gee, I realize my weight is coming off slow but I will keep at it daily. Someday I will have the figure that I want for me. I can and will continue my daily regimen of weight loss for a healthier me.” I’m proud of all of you. Keep up the good work and continue to post to stay positive. Good Luck!

  • I have so much more energy and much less aches and pains since I am eating better….when offered a bite of something I don’t need, I just visualize that food punching me in the gut and think “I just don”t need that pain”. No thank you.

  • I was chastised by a doctor a few years ago about doing too much when I spent some time quite ill. Since then I’ve been much better at only taking on things I really enjoy. Still tend to watch too much TV at night though. Once I get that sorted out and learn to use the recorder more effectively life should be pretty good.

  • Those who have trouble creating ‘boundaries’ in their lives should check out Drs Henry Cloud and John Townsend’s book Boundaries. Very powerful food for thought to empower ourselves and respectfully create boundaries in all areas of our lives.

  • Putting my gym class schedule on the family calendar has helped a lot. my husband knows he can’t plan other activities during that time!

  • I can say “no” but I’ve struggled over the last 10 days, just so tired 🙁 So today has been lazy ‘ish’ but I did go and try my first crossfit session, needed a lie down after that, but I’m thinking a nana nap was what I needed after only 1 day off in 12 🙂

  • Yesterday at work we had an icecream social, I said no to the icecream (wasn’t easy) instead I brought my yogurt and sat down and enjoyed the social.

  • Okay, I failed this the very first day. I intended to get on the treadmill…but then my son didn’t nap and my sister stopped by….I NEED to figure this out! Ugh!

  • Day 22 already? This 30 day challenge is almost over?? No!!! While I haven’t done everything thing that has been emailed, I’ve done some. And I’m more making more of an effort to exercise. What will I do when I stop receiving daily reminders?!

  • Its easy for me to say no at first but then dealing with the guilt from the party I say no to is the hard part.

  • today I have to protect my priorities and say no to that part of me that demands: EAT MORE MORE MORE…. EAT CAKE, EAT BREAD… Ok time to take the journal and look what I´m really hungry for.

  • Enjoy healthy food, exercise, cooking… trying to look forward to a new “me”!