Day 23: Start Saying No – But Nicely | 30-Day Weight Loss-athon
Welcome to Day 23 of the 30-Day Weight Loss-athon.
All tasks in the 30-Day Weight Loss-athon are adapted from my 52 Weight Loss Missions program.
Read the steps first, then take 10 minutes to think about and complete them. Ready?
What You Need:
- A deep breath
- A little bit of courage.
Step 1
Yesterday we accepted that committing to our weight-loss is not only not selfish – it can have all kinds of benefits for our family, friends and workmates.
So now that we accept it’s okay to protect your priorities and say no to certain demands – um, how do we do it?
The first step is to identify the times we habitually say yes when we want to say no – and sabotage our own weight-loss goals.
For instance:
- We repeatedly agree to work late, instead of going to the gym as we’d planned
- We go along with someone else’s suggestion to dine at the all-you-can-eat, even-the-salad-is-deep-fried restaurant for dinner, when we’d wanted to go somewhere with healthy options
- We agree to baby-sit for a friend again, when we were hoping to do our menu planning and shopping for the week.
What are your habitual, weight-loss-sabotaging, can’t-say-no zones?
Step 2
Next, let’s focus on what you can do differently in these situations.
Here are some suggestions.
- Saying ‘No I can’t’ can sound harsh. Instead, experiment with variations that are easier for you to say, and for the other person to hear. Some examples are:
- I’m afraid I can’t this time
- I’ll have to pass, but thank you for thinking of me
- Sorry – I’m already over-committed
- I’m not the right person to help with that. My strengths are in …
- I would prefer…
- I won’t be able to do that, but I can do this…
- Role-play your response with a friend to help you build up confidence. This is especially helpful if the conversation will be with your boss or an authority figure.
- Remind yourself that you’re saying no in order to say yes to your priorities – especially those you identified on Day 1: Find Your Real (Not Pretend) Motivation.
For the situation you identified in Step 1, what will you do differently next time?
This is a hard one for everybody – so take comfort that you’re in good company as you work on changing old behaviors. And be prepared that it may take time to develop your assertiveness muscles.
But today, make a start. Will you?
Check in!
And you’re done!
Be sure to leave your comment below to check in and stay accountable. If you’re reading this by email or in a reader then please click here to leave your comment.
See you tomorrow!
I did it today. I said no!
Working on this one.
Practice makes perfect.
Really need a LOT of practice on this! 😀
Will definitely start working on this! 🙂
I will start using your suggestions. Thanks.
I may have to say no to this task. Just kidding! I will try! 🙂
Going to have to work on this one……:/
I have a friend that would benefit from reading this lol.
I learned how to say no a few years ago. I don’t always do it, but I know how.
I WILL work on it… and when I do get out, stick to light low-fat healthy options!
Just want to say that you really tapped into things I never thought of Michelle. Your scenarios ring so true. BALANCE. 🙂
I have just asked that when my husband dish up, he dish up a smaller amount on our plates. Never thought to say no before. Thank you…
This isn’t as much of an issue for me as it used to be. It definitely gets easier with more practice.
I’m pretty good at the whole ‘just say no’ thing except with my family. Definitely gotta work on that one. Oh, and Diet Pepsi, hard to say no to that.
I love to be a help to others and I have to start teaching myself now that I can’t be there or do that all the time. I’m going to have to learn to say NO which will not be an easy task.
Being prepared for a response ahead of time is a great idea. Like @Tammy Paul, I need to say “no” to me when I crank out the excuse for not exercising or eating right.
Well, I really didn’t put saying no to others as being part of weight loss, but I can see how it does a play a part in taking away my time to devote to losing weight. Here is a phrase I can use: “I’d love to, but I’ll have to pass this time”.
I’m really glad that we had today’s challenge and yesterday’s. these are both things I desperately need to work on.
I will be more productive at work.. and achieve what I can achieve while I am there.. I say no to myself and my need to overachieve.. tonight is the first night in a long time I have not brought work home and everything is up to date..