Day 23: Start Saying No – But Nicely | 30-Day Weight Loss-athon
Welcome to Day 23 of the 30-Day Weight Loss-athon.
All tasks in the 30-Day Weight Loss-athon are adapted from my 52 Weight Loss Missions program.
Read the steps first, then take 10 minutes to think about and complete them. Ready?
What You Need:
- A deep breath
- A little bit of courage.
Step 1
Yesterday we accepted that committing to our weight-loss is not only not selfish – it can have all kinds of benefits for our family, friends and workmates.
So now that we accept it’s okay to protect your priorities and say no to certain demands – um, how do we do it?
The first step is to identify the times we habitually say yes when we want to say no – and sabotage our own weight-loss goals.
For instance:
- We repeatedly agree to work late, instead of going to the gym as we’d planned
- We go along with someone else’s suggestion to dine at the all-you-can-eat, even-the-salad-is-deep-fried restaurant for dinner, when we’d wanted to go somewhere with healthy options
- We agree to baby-sit for a friend again, when we were hoping to do our menu planning and shopping for the week.
What are your habitual, weight-loss-sabotaging, can’t-say-no zones?
Step 2
Next, let’s focus on what you can do differently in these situations.
Here are some suggestions.
- Saying ‘No I can’t’ can sound harsh. Instead, experiment with variations that are easier for you to say, and for the other person to hear. Some examples are:
- I’m afraid I can’t this time
- I’ll have to pass, but thank you for thinking of me
- Sorry – I’m already over-committed
- I’m not the right person to help with that. My strengths are in …
- I would prefer…
- I won’t be able to do that, but I can do this…
- Role-play your response with a friend to help you build up confidence. This is especially helpful if the conversation will be with your boss or an authority figure.
- Remind yourself that you’re saying no in order to say yes to your priorities – especially those you identified on Day 1: Find Your Real (Not Pretend) Motivation.
For the situation you identified in Step 1, what will you do differently next time?
This is a hard one for everybody – so take comfort that you’re in good company as you work on changing old behaviors. And be prepared that it may take time to develop your assertiveness muscles.
But today, make a start. Will you?
Check in!
And you’re done!
Be sure to leave your comment below to check in and stay accountable. If you’re reading this by email or in a reader then please click here to leave your comment.
See you tomorrow!
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I´m saying no to a friend who loves to share biscuits with me, it´s a bit hard…
I´m fine with my boundaries! Had some really good opportunities to learn in the past ;).
Learning to say No Thanks is A Lot harder than you think.
Definitely something I have to work on!
“I won’t be able to do that, but I can do this…” 🙂
I can easily say “no” to some, work for example, but it is much more difficult to say to my friends and family.
I need this email sent to me every day as a reminder. I will work continuously to not let others dictate my schedule. There is not enough room in my schedule to give in to every one else’s priorities. I am worth it!
Yes, cake and family meals seem to be my downfall….”May I have a very small portion” or “less of the fried whatever, please”…..oooooh dear, think I’D better get some practice in too 🙂
The past few days have been immensely hard. I wish I could say No more often, especially to myself. I need to journal what all I eat so I can have a better picture of what I am doing, and then I can see where I need to make changes which is a lot I know. 🙁
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJ08l0a9xjk
Have had lots of experience with this one lately…we tend to order out at work a lot (night shift in L&D) and it is usually pizza. Saying no is getting easier as I see the pounds coming off!
Being a naturally bossy person saying no isn’t that difficult if it’s something I genuinely don’t want to do. However, if it’s something that interests me, that’s a whole other story! I am getting better at pacing myself but still have a way to go.
Is dancing around, singing I could close my size 2(yeah NY & Co is vanity sized but I’ll take it) this morning NOT polite? haha guess not, it’s okay I have been making my exercise and food choice a priority and saying No politely has been easy. Geez, I have three kids at home…most people don’t expect me to have free time anyway ;).
Hello to everyone: I know saying No is hard to do. But I know you can do it. Scenarios: “Oh my, I just tripled booked myself on the same day and same time. I just couldn’t say no.” No. One it is impossible to be in three places at once. No. Two which one did you accept first – that’s the one you committed to. No. Three, “Call the two other commitments and kindly say you will be unable to attend.” You want to be nice about the oversight. But you must learn to say No whether it’s an engagement; party; unhealthy food; etc. Only commit to the invites that you will attend. Take the time to write on a 3×5 card or post-it note what you would say must you decline the invitation. Good Luck and continue to post to be accountable. I’m proud of all of you for your commitment for a better you.