Day 22: Stop Being a Weight-Loss Martyr | 30-Day Weight Loss-athon
Here we are at Day 22 of the 30-Day Weight Loss-athon. Wow – time is flying!
All tasks in the 30-Day Weight Loss-athon are adapted from my 52 Weight Loss Missions program.
Read the steps first, then take 10 minutes to think about and complete them. Ready?
What You Need:
- A willingness to look at yourself and your beliefs
- Pen
- Post-its.
Step 1
The first step today is to realize that saying yes to your weight loss means saying no to other things and to other people’s priorities, at least some of the time.
And if the people in your life are especially demanding, then it may mean saying no rather a lot of the time.
Sometimes you’ll help out, of course. But if you come last on your priority list much of the time, then you need to realize the effect this may be having on your weight-loss success.
Before long, you forget what your priorities even are. They get lost in the maelstrom of everyone else’s needs.
If losing weight is a priority for you – and we discovered on Day 1 that it is – then it may be time to start saying no.
But before you can do that, you may need to change the way you look at things.
Step 2
For most people, saying no is difficult. We see it as selfish. We’re uncomfortable putting our own priorities ahead of other people’s needs. So when our priorities get challenged, we give in.
So now we need to remind ourselves that in fact, sticking to your weight-loss guns is not selfish – it has all kinds of benefits that are surprisingly good for everyone:
- As you lose weight you’ll gain energy so you’ll have more to give others
- If you have kids, they’ll benefit from an excellent role model for persistence, goal setting, health and wellbeing – not to mention assertiveness!
- By standing up for yourself, you’ll gain the respect of colleagues, friends and family members
- When the people around you have to make other arrangements, it can help them develop their own independence and stand on their own two feet
- You’ll stop feeling resentful that your priorities are neglected, and this helps you to have better relationships
- You’ll be more fun to be around
- You’ll be happier, which boosts productivity at work and home
- You’ll like yourself more as you build up your assertiveness muscles
- If you’re using the needs of others as an excuse for not living your own life, then you’ll start living your own life more – and let them off the hook.
That’s a lot of great stuff for you and for the people around you!
Step 3
So now, choose the benefit or benefits that most speak to you and – you guessed it! – write it/them on a post-it note and put it somewhere you’ll see it every day.
Once you accept that it’s okay to protect your priorities and say no to certain demands, how do you do it – with grace? That’s what we’ll take action on tomorrow.
So… which benefit does it for you?
Check in!
And you’re done!
Be sure to leave your comment below to check in and stay accountable. If you’re reading this by email or in a reader then please click here to leave your comment.
See you tomorrow!
YES to more energy and liking the woman who stands up in front of people to teach or lead or whatever…me!
I need to be more assertive about my own health and happiness. I have been encouraging my daughter to take care of herself so that she can take care of her family. I guess she learned the martyr attitude from me and I need to work on my own shortcomings.
NO! NO! NO! Sounds good to me! because most of the time, I feel like I am being pulled in a million different directions…I am always going and doing something, yet I never seem to get anything done! UGH! Maybe, NO is the answer! I need a list of what is important and work to get-R-done! Work to Clear up some of my time, Clear up the clutter in my life, and in the process… Clear my mind! Sounds like the plan for me! <3 : ).
I really feel as though this is not a big problem for me. All my excuses revolved around my inability to comit which I have now gotten past. My family and friends are very supportive and really pretty low maintenance. I do remember a time where my little kids created an excuse for me to lean on but now they are older and that excuse is voided. I feel like I will be able to keep this all in mind for the future but right now I think I’m good.
I have made a commitment that my health is more important and since I have finally turned a good corner and feel wonderful, I will continue with the journey I am on:) My kids will thank me one day for having been there longer with them to do things and eventually to be in shape to take care of their children. I am turning 50 this summer and praying that I will be a Grand-maman ( grandmother called in french) within the next 7-8 years:)
The effect that my efforts will have on my child is a giant motivator for me.
I have to say no to work.. very demanding job and I do alot of extra hours for free that I could spend on myself.
This is so me. you have hit the nail on the head. love it
checking in………………need to learn to say NO!
I have to realize that I have to put time aside for ME and include exercising in my day so that, that will build up my self confidence in myself.
I guess more energy and concentration is my call.. when I over eat, even healthy food, it affects my concentration and ability to read and work.. I will dwell on this thought with myself more today.. Thanks for the tip.
I like being a good model to my children–especially to my girls. The confidence I am gaining by making good choices for my body is something I want for them.
Had not thought of myself as a martyr in this way before, but know I need to change my thinking (and my actions – healthier eating and better use of time, etc.) in many ways. That might even mean – gasp! – less time on Facebook!
More energy would be nice to get myself motivated to do all that I have to do which in the end promotes productivity at home. I already say no to certain things since I am the one cooking most of the time anyway. I’m supported in my decision to lose weight so it’s just getting into the habit of changing the priorities into healthier choices that we both like.
I understand my weight loss crusade is not a priority to all, I do ask that they respect my choices thought. In the end, it comes down to me, if everyone here eats pizza, their choice, I make chicken and veggies, my choice. My health and weight loss are my responsibility and ‘no thanks’ seems to be my favorite word lately. Thanks!
I would love to just have more energy to do all the things that I want to do. Also just the piece of mind that I am looking after my health in relation to heart disease and diabetes. I already have the support of my husband and daughter who will eat whatever I am eating and encourage me whenever they can. When I do make those choices at work where I wont eat cake offered etc I do get the respect from my work colleagues who congratulate me for being so strong and they do comment how good I look with the weight I have lost so that is always encouraging to make you keep going.
that was an interesting read. I don’t have to say no to others so much as myself. I tend to over commit myself when I really need more time to focus on me. I have decided to give up one part time job which is more of a bobbie than a money maker so I will have more time for what is more important to me. the de cluttering and cleaning up has me more motivated and moving more so I am on the right track.
I have to start telling myself no….no to staying on the computer at night. No to the emotional eating (happy or not so much). No to the pity parties when my clothes don’t fit due to my choices. I also need to say no to a couple of people that don’t realize they are taking my “me” time.
I think this is my favorite! It is not being selfish to say no to others when you need time to take care of yourself! Thanks
Exercising and eating healthy is giving me more energy and a more positive outlook. I’m in for the long haul!